The Personal is Political

Practice, Connectedness, A Smiling Heart

I've always thought I was slow in figuring things out. What I mean, I guess, is that I tend to take the long way round when I'm learning something or talking about something and when I do something. This introductory statement is a little bit of an illustration really of how I figure something out. I am reminded of Foucault's theory of discourse and the idea of knowledge as archaelogy.  Foucault says "the discursive meaning of an expression is reliant on the succession of statements that precede and follow it." So does this mean that statements assist each other in making meaning of our utterances, that our expressions, even if they have intent, may evolve or develop depending on notions and or other ideas which appear as a result of the original idea. Sometimes statements find their own way and end up meaning more than the one or two points they initially started to say. I find this fantastic, language with a life of it's own; I suppose I don't need permission to ramble on but if I did need it, here it is. Language that doesn't need to be going anywhere, possibilities and exploration. Is this what he, Foucault, means? Maybe not, he does spend a long time discussing the rules of statements and how they relate to discursive meaning. So, what on earth's the point of all this, about the way language helps make it's own meaning?

I realised recently that thinking about writing is always exciting for me. I spend a lot of time writing in my head. Everywhere I go I write, my internal dialogue is always written, in my mind. I spend time actually planning and then saying each line in my head, about things I am really interested in. In particular about language about the relationship and connections between things, about the way everything we do is connected in some way to something else. This one in particular has a real fascination for me. I love the way that I experience the world as a new day yet each and every act has a way of linking to so many other acts, already carried out. Just here is an illustration of the connectedness of things as acts of doing are connected to language acts, to what we write if we consider them in the realm of Foucault's ideas. We construct meaning and create our own worlds depending on what has come before, "on the succession of statements"....preceding and following our experiences and thoughts and actions.



I've been doing many of the things I do now for most of my life. You'd think I could respect my own knowledge and understanding of what I'm doing, however I find myself behaving as though I'm new to an activity or I'm unsure of myself. Here's an example. Today I worked with Summer my new horse alongside Troy who I was paying to help me get back into riding after a two month break. Nothing we were doing was new to me but I listened and did what Troy suggested because I think this is where I am at the moment, today, in my relationship with my horse. I actually see this as a positive thing, that I am able to assess what I need right now, identify who can help me and go and get it. However there are many people in the horse world who would see this approach as a weakness. There is an expectation that if you know how to do something, if you have the skills, you just use them and get on with the job. The disconnection here is that this way of thinking ignores many of the things that I consider critical to learning. Being able to assess our needs and being able to ask for help is one of these.
This sits alongside the notion of agency and positioning that Freire talks about in Pedagogy of the Oppressed. He discusses working with young people struggling with poverty who had no access to education and assuming a partnership in the experience, by participating in a dialogic enquiry. The teacher, educator, assumed a position of being a learner, alongside the student, discovering together the various aspects of the shared experience. This is a power sharing relationship, one where both people have agency, the abiltiy to make choices and to take action. At first this is from within the shelter and protection of the particular relationship however it is from these first experiences that personal power, strength and ability to take further action develops.

We need to be courageous to be a learner and to be a teacher. With my horse I am trying to lead her while allowing her to make a choice to take a particular path. She is coaxed and helped to make the choice. I do have prior knowledge and understanding about what I'm doing and I do want her to participate, however at the moment I have no expectations of the exercises we are doing, she is actually free to do what she likes. If she chooses to follow me or interact with me that's great, if she doesn't that's great too, we're sharing the experience. She is rewarded with food and love for every effort she makes to share. We will build and construct learning together when we are both ready. As a teacher this is the way I try to behave in the classroom. Leading, while being part of a connected relationship, sharing experiences and enabling and encouraging students to make choices and to take action, to be engaged and motivated from within. To have smiling hearts, passion and love for their learning.


I'm loving Tara Brach. A smiling heart, what a lovely notion. Kate when she's teaching me a particularly difficult movement in dressage will say to me to give yourself with your heart, while at the same time gesturing with her hands cupped to illustrate the forward and upward motion of my chest and body. All this done as she strides around a dusty arena. A loving, smiling heart indeed.