Working things out with Summer

I spend hours with my horses every week. Last week I rode Summer nearly every day, all small rides, up the road. She and I are getting better and better at being together. We're learning to trust each other and I'm genuinely beginning to like her. She is the easiest horse I've ever had to ride out. Nothing seems to faze her, she strides confidently into the world with her big white face and lips and long eyelashes like Marilyn Monroe. Yet even so, there are inevitably issues we have to deal with together. The better I get to know her and her character and behaviour the more I ask and this sometimes causes problems. Often when something goes wrong I have to stop what I'm doing and think about whether I'm asking the right thing for that moment. Can I back off, can I just approach it from a different angle, should I just go on with what I'm doing and confront the issue.
For me confrontation is very often not the answer, I have found over the years that I'm much better at working things out slowly, at doing something slowly, piece by piece. Whatever it is that I'm tackling with a horse it can be broken down into different sections or parts of the whole. It's much easier, instead of thinking of the end result, to concentrate on the action in the moment, the small task or movement that's right in front of me. This way I get success with the small movement then build on it.
A recent example of this is that Summer has started lifting her hind leg and kicking it forward and under her body at me when I try to mount. I think this is just part of her resentment and what we call nappiness in the trade at being saddled up every day and taken away from her mates. It's not very serious at this stage, the kick is almost in slow motion and I'm not really intimidated. However any more than what she's currently doing could get dangerous. Old theories would have me hitting her and tightening up the reins to hold her very still as I got on.
I'm sure this is not the way round this. I do think I need to solve this, however I think it should be a combination of ground work and mounting.  I think this is partly a dominance issue; she's trying to scare me, because she doesn't want to leave her mates. I have learnt from a number of people who work with horses to respond to problems like this by considering the problem as part of the horse's overall training.
Summer has a job to do with me that will take time to establish. I know she will learn, because I have to teach her, she is not going to learn what I want just because she lives around me. Horses need to be taught the behaviours and the job you want them to carry out, through practice and repetition. She will learn through consistent encouragement and training from me to do what I ask. I need to be her leader. I can also use her natural instincts as part of the practice. To encourage her be a forward moving horse which she already wants to do, to be inquisitive which is part of her nature, to put her in challenging situations so that she needs to be brave because even though she is a young inexperienced horse she is already demonstrating that she is brave and will lead. To allow her to lead me when we are out even though I will have the plan. Alongside this she first needs to learn to do as I ask, without resentment, she needs to move her legs where I put them and stand where I tell her to stand. She needs to allow me to get on and stop and go when I say. These are the basics and at the moment these are still being sorted between us. She resents me at times and won't put her legs where I've put them. When she does choose to do as I say and walk up to the mounting block for example she is taking any opportunity not to do her job because, I think, I am not clear enough yet with a lot of other related movements. I now need to be very clear about my own job. Summer is looking for this.
In the past we did this through instilling fear and using harsh tactics and aids. Horses were not encouraged to think or to be active in the acceptance of their roles, in other words to demonstrate some independence. They were submissive because they were fearful of the alternatives. Andrew McLean an Australian who specialises in equine behaviour, calls this learned helplessness. Now many people encourage the horse to develop acceptance through bonding and working with the rider, recognising the rider/handler as the leader and wanting to work alongside. The horse builds up a body of knowledge, habits of mind and actions about the way to behave that brings rewards. The rider leads and also accepts the horse's natural characteristics and builds on these. Natural flair and talent become broader as they now encompass character as well as movement.
My actions with Summer now need to continue with me establishing myself as the leader, on the ground first. We were doing lots of this but recently I've been riding more and I think I now need to take a step back and work with her on the ground. This includes a number of different practices, working on moving her around in the round pen, using my voice and directing her with my hands and arm movements, getting higher up than her on the fence and moving her round from this position; taking time to desensitise her to my presence above her and asking her to accept me, using a long rope in the arena to move her around, all of these are currently difficult for her. She resents them and will only do these exercises if pushed. She is definitely a dominant horse, she is pushy and big and will use her size to intimidate if she can. I've found she is also friendly and wants to please once she accepts her job. Doing these movements is a way to encourage her to see me as the leader, to accept that I can and will move her at times.
I also need to spend time, sharing territory with her and moving her round in the paddock while she is at liberty. Liberty work allows the horse to choose to connect. I'm asking but not insisting. My requests will be guided by her actions. If she accepts my presence and answers my questions by joining with me we work out more complex activities. If she doesn't work with me I back off. The more you work in this environment, the more accepting the horse becomes of your presence and the less they resent you when you ask for connection. I have taken time to learn how to do this, and I'm still learning from other people. I try to think about how to behave and what I need to do every day with my horses and then practice these things on a daily basis.
This doesn't always happen and as this current situation illustrates I forget that what I'm doing is developing a partnership, I just plough on with one aspect of the job, forgetting to check if my partner is ready for this. What I've forgotten to do this time is to reflect, to check on where we're up to. I need to take time to consider the problem, to slow down and think about where we're up to, what's happening in our relationship and consider what we can do. I'm thinking about my initial thoughts here, and the way forward. Even though I may have an end result in mind it's more useful in my partnership with the horse, to consider the best way for both of us to get there. With me it's better to take a step away from the problem and to think about my relationship with this horse, about what is helping the relationship develop and how I'm doing that and what Summer is bringing to the partnership. Why does it work, what are we doing together that is good, what does she like that I can give her to help us along? What does she need from me?  If I get focused on goals I sometimes forget that I just love being around horses, that doing things like sitting round with them and just hanging out with them is incredibly satisfying.
Horses have a very connected vibe, when they're with you they're there with you in the moment. They enjoy your presence. You can tell; they breathe on you, nuzzle you and watch you, they accept you in their space. They're interested in what you're doing and I sometimes forget how special this relationship is.
I'm observant of all my horses, they know me and like me. I'm round them every day, I feed them, ride them and look after them. The thing though that sets my current relationship apart from the one I had with my horses from the past is that I can spend many hours working with these horses not just riding them but on the ground, and in the paddock, which is just as satisfying and brings me just as much joy.  What I have now with these lovely big animals is a relationship, I guess you could say that we're friends.