Stillness; a story from a couple of months ago.
I think a lot about stillness probably because I've had to learn to be still. Stillness is such an interesting concept and one that I've had to find within myself. I'm a chronic follower of multiple ideas; my brain can be giving me a buzz to zone in to a new idea or thought all day and I'd happily follow along, with no restraint or end in sight. There's mostly no real purpose to this and this unrestrained smorgasbord of free thinking can lead me to a state of high anxiety, particularly at 2 in the morning when the latest thought path I've allowed myself to indulge in is hugely problematic with no obvious solutions. My stillness has required me to stop doing this brain scramble and to focus on what I'm doing, one moment to the next. Writing this is a perfect example. It forces me to only think about what I'm doing here. I recall reading recently that mindfulness is recognising all those random thoughts and training yourself not to follow each one, just to allow them to pass through your mind.
The stillness I'm referring to is associated with my state of mind and is accompanied by my physical state of being actively calmer and quieter, no secret to many people who practice techniques such as yoga and meditation. I'd like to achieve this so that it's my fall back position.
I need to go back for a moment to one of reasons I have found it necessary to acquire stillness as part of my way of being.
I've had a long involvement with horses and in the last few years I've learnt to relate to them in different ways. I've learnt through observing and taking part in various situations that the most effective way to be with horses is to build relationships with them, to have conversations with them, that are a result of watching and listening and learning from them. I think I've always been open to this even when in years gone by I was riding and showing horses in different ways than I am now, I still wanted to feel connected, I knew that my own horse wanted that connection with me I was just unsure how to go about achieving this. For many years I was trapped in the power relationship that is still the way many people relate to their horses. Then about ten years ago it was as though a door opened and I simply walked through into a different country, one where the conversations we were having about horses was not just about what we could achieve in a competitive horse world but how we could live with horses, what we could bring to our relationship with our horses, how we could interact and learn from our horses, what best practice we could work at that was part of the horses natural world, that would not threaten or cause the horse to be fearful or resentful and work against us. It was in this horse world that I think I always knew I was going to arrive in sooner or later, that I first started thinking about stillness.
To be around horses it's essential to be able to be still, not just in our bodies, but in our minds too. To be in the moment, with the horse. We need to be able to connect to the horse, to feel the energy that is generated which will vary depending on what's going on and to help the horse feel safe. A horse wants to be able to depend on the rider, to rely on the rider as a partnership. Riders have always talked about feel, and conventionally this has been in terms of being connected through the various parts of our bodies that we use on the horse, our hands, our seats in the saddle and our legs wrapped around the horse and through the artificial aids we have have. But feel is more than this, it is a concept related to breath and the awareness of our bodies and the horses body. To the muscles we feel moving and to our own responses, all rolled into a second or two, each time we ask the horse to do something different with a different part of our body. Our feel creates energy that in that second can move a horse on the ground without touching it from one place to another, simply directing the horse with a hand movement or when riding by simply moving a muscle in a leg that asks the horse to move off from the pressure.
There is also a stillness that is a sign of what is going on for the horse, when they indicate to us through holding their breath and holding their bodies against us, not flowing with the movements, but tightening the body and becoming rigid, that they are ready to flee. Their instinct is driving their action and for a second or two we have this warning. What I've had to learn is to read the horse to feel this energy and to take action before the situation gets dangerous, to have the courage to act as leader and let the horse know I'm in charge. I know now after having experienced not listening to the warning signs and dealing with the results that the stillness I feel in that second is always preceded by other warning signs too, the horse will become distracted and focus on what they perceive as the danger spot, they look around, raise their head, their breathing changes, and the body tightens and it's then that I have to say to myself, take charge now, act now, to avoid disaster.
The stillness I remember feeling in that last second before on two occasions in the last five years my life became dependent on the horses actions was almost like the moment before a storm hit, a second when the world seemed to stop. I think my own body reacted too by becoming unresponsive, I held my own breath instead of responding. I have had to train myself to feel in these seconds to be the one in the realtionship that is responding and behaving with courage which has not come naturally to me.
I want to defer to the bigger stronger partner; what I've had to learn is that I need to be as I am in other areas of my life a capable thinker, a problem solver and leader in many different situations. My horses have needed this from me. They depend on me and I've had to train my mind to follow my body in these situations to listen to my muscles, I've had to relearn to put the two together in a different package one that I know about from other areas of my life but haven't put into practice as a horse rider.
So how does this relate to stillness?
I am involved in a relationship with my horses, one that is co dependent. I depend on my horses to work with me, I work with them so that they will respond to my requests. Through my body I communicate my requests with an expectation that my horses will willingly comply. This relationship is one that the horse and I work on, it often takes years to form this relationship.
The conversations we have with our horses are complex and evolving, they have many of the elements of relationships we have with our human friends, we connect through a language of touch and feel, it is a visual, and verbal and kinesthetic relationship. Our horses look at us, they read our actions, the way our arms, legs and bodies work whether we're on their backs or on the ground. Their language is subtle, they are observant and reactionary. There are many things that frighten them and many things they instinctively want to avoid. It is our job as their human partners to reassure them that the world is a place they can trust, that in sticking with us we will protect them and show them an easy way to behave that brings them rewards. To do this I have had to embrace my inner calm. This does not come easily, my head is often full of advice, about how to do things and how to respond.
I can be still around my horses, I can feel their breath on my face, see the look in their eyes, know that they are looking at me for guidance and reassurance. I have to lead, and to guide. I have had to learn that asking horses to go along with me is always a more beneficial way taking any journey with them. I have had to recognise when I am frightened and to deal with this.
It has been and continues to be an amazing journey for me. Being around horses is enlightening and for me often a time of reflection. I think a lot about what I'm doing and how so many of the skills and strategies I practice connect to other areas of my life. I think about how the time I spend with horses is a way of learning about myself, and what a wonderful way to be able to do this. The classroom I enter every day with my horses is intensely rewarding.
The stillness I'm referring to is associated with my state of mind and is accompanied by my physical state of being actively calmer and quieter, no secret to many people who practice techniques such as yoga and meditation. I'd like to achieve this so that it's my fall back position.
I need to go back for a moment to one of reasons I have found it necessary to acquire stillness as part of my way of being.
I've had a long involvement with horses and in the last few years I've learnt to relate to them in different ways. I've learnt through observing and taking part in various situations that the most effective way to be with horses is to build relationships with them, to have conversations with them, that are a result of watching and listening and learning from them. I think I've always been open to this even when in years gone by I was riding and showing horses in different ways than I am now, I still wanted to feel connected, I knew that my own horse wanted that connection with me I was just unsure how to go about achieving this. For many years I was trapped in the power relationship that is still the way many people relate to their horses. Then about ten years ago it was as though a door opened and I simply walked through into a different country, one where the conversations we were having about horses was not just about what we could achieve in a competitive horse world but how we could live with horses, what we could bring to our relationship with our horses, how we could interact and learn from our horses, what best practice we could work at that was part of the horses natural world, that would not threaten or cause the horse to be fearful or resentful and work against us. It was in this horse world that I think I always knew I was going to arrive in sooner or later, that I first started thinking about stillness.
To be around horses it's essential to be able to be still, not just in our bodies, but in our minds too. To be in the moment, with the horse. We need to be able to connect to the horse, to feel the energy that is generated which will vary depending on what's going on and to help the horse feel safe. A horse wants to be able to depend on the rider, to rely on the rider as a partnership. Riders have always talked about feel, and conventionally this has been in terms of being connected through the various parts of our bodies that we use on the horse, our hands, our seats in the saddle and our legs wrapped around the horse and through the artificial aids we have have. But feel is more than this, it is a concept related to breath and the awareness of our bodies and the horses body. To the muscles we feel moving and to our own responses, all rolled into a second or two, each time we ask the horse to do something different with a different part of our body. Our feel creates energy that in that second can move a horse on the ground without touching it from one place to another, simply directing the horse with a hand movement or when riding by simply moving a muscle in a leg that asks the horse to move off from the pressure.
There is also a stillness that is a sign of what is going on for the horse, when they indicate to us through holding their breath and holding their bodies against us, not flowing with the movements, but tightening the body and becoming rigid, that they are ready to flee. Their instinct is driving their action and for a second or two we have this warning. What I've had to learn is to read the horse to feel this energy and to take action before the situation gets dangerous, to have the courage to act as leader and let the horse know I'm in charge. I know now after having experienced not listening to the warning signs and dealing with the results that the stillness I feel in that second is always preceded by other warning signs too, the horse will become distracted and focus on what they perceive as the danger spot, they look around, raise their head, their breathing changes, and the body tightens and it's then that I have to say to myself, take charge now, act now, to avoid disaster.
The stillness I remember feeling in that last second before on two occasions in the last five years my life became dependent on the horses actions was almost like the moment before a storm hit, a second when the world seemed to stop. I think my own body reacted too by becoming unresponsive, I held my own breath instead of responding. I have had to train myself to feel in these seconds to be the one in the realtionship that is responding and behaving with courage which has not come naturally to me.
I want to defer to the bigger stronger partner; what I've had to learn is that I need to be as I am in other areas of my life a capable thinker, a problem solver and leader in many different situations. My horses have needed this from me. They depend on me and I've had to train my mind to follow my body in these situations to listen to my muscles, I've had to relearn to put the two together in a different package one that I know about from other areas of my life but haven't put into practice as a horse rider.
So how does this relate to stillness?
The conversations we have with our horses are complex and evolving, they have many of the elements of relationships we have with our human friends, we connect through a language of touch and feel, it is a visual, and verbal and kinesthetic relationship. Our horses look at us, they read our actions, the way our arms, legs and bodies work whether we're on their backs or on the ground. Their language is subtle, they are observant and reactionary. There are many things that frighten them and many things they instinctively want to avoid. It is our job as their human partners to reassure them that the world is a place they can trust, that in sticking with us we will protect them and show them an easy way to behave that brings them rewards. To do this I have had to embrace my inner calm. This does not come easily, my head is often full of advice, about how to do things and how to respond.
I can be still around my horses, I can feel their breath on my face, see the look in their eyes, know that they are looking at me for guidance and reassurance. I have to lead, and to guide. I have had to learn that asking horses to go along with me is always a more beneficial way taking any journey with them. I have had to recognise when I am frightened and to deal with this.
It has been and continues to be an amazing journey for me. Being around horses is enlightening and for me often a time of reflection. I think a lot about what I'm doing and how so many of the skills and strategies I practice connect to other areas of my life. I think about how the time I spend with horses is a way of learning about myself, and what a wonderful way to be able to do this. The classroom I enter every day with my horses is intensely rewarding.
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